Precious Tears
by Luver.of.Pie
Summary: With that tear, mother and son were bonded for life.
1. Chapter 1

'_He's gone.'_

The words kept echoing through Irina's ears again and again, no matter how many times she tried to forget them.

'_He's gone. Nikolai is dead.'_

The blunt words hit like an axe, striking into vulnerable flesh again and again, over and over, merciless.

Her son, her only, beloved son, was simple… gone. His funeral took place that very day, but Irina couldn't find the strength to lift her trembling legs and walk there. She couldn't look at his sweet face, his still face. She just couldn't.

And so, she just lay in bed and wept. Her tears would dry up, and she could try to calm down, but then she would see him in her mind, and hear his laugh, and the tears would flow again. She simply couldn't stop crying.

The day passed as quickly as a snail slithers a mile. In other words, slowly.

Irina could only lay and cry as she had been doing the whole day. Images flashed through her head, like a rocket.

Funny Nikolai, serious Nikolai, happy Nikolai, sad Nikolai, tough Nikolai, scared Nikolai, _Nikolai_! Irina cried out brokenly, like a child, and she heard her own sobs ringing through the room. There was nothing she could do. Nikolai was dead. Eventually, sleep overwhelmed her, and pulled her into its silent bliss.

Nikolai. He stood in front of Irina in full health, eyes bright, and full of life! But even as Irina ran to him, he collapsed and became pale as snow, his eyelids sliding closed. As she reached him and tried to hold the body of her son, he vanished, becoming no more than a wisp of smoke. She woke up, already crying again, and realized one thing.

Irina no longer had a little boy to hold onto.

**1 month later**

Irina stood in front of Nikolai's grave. It was white marble, and had a small inscription engraved into it. _'Children are held in the arms of an angel.'_

Irina remembered the day Nikolai had been born. Unimaginably pain had enveloped her, her screams had echoed through the night, but every scream, every contraction had been worth it as she gazed at her son's face. He looked bald, but it was just the light blonde ringlets curled onto his head. They were almost transparent. His inquisitive blue eyes hungrily devoured his mothers face, and he cried. Irina felt a tear slip down her face and land on her sons cheek. With that tear, mother and son were bonded for life.

And now, the bond was still strong, even though it now existed in death.

When Nikolai was three, he went outside, mother in tow, eager to get the mail. He slipped in his rush and fell, scraping his knee raw against the unforgiving pavement. Irina quickly picked him up and took him inside, then comforted the crying boy as she bandaged his knee. When she finished, she tickled his stomach, earning a loud and happy giggle from her little boy. She wiped his tears away, then hugged her son. He hugged her back, then said, "I love you, mommy!"

And then, when he was seven. She had to go on a 'business trip', which translated to a Lucian meeting. Nikolai, who was staying with a neighbor, had quietly asked for a monkey. Irina had chuckled, then promised she would bring him one. She had hugged him goodbye, then turned to go.

"Mommy, don't leave!" He shouted, bursting into tears. His arms embraced her waist, and he sobbed. Irina kneeled down to his eye-level as he sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"I'll be back, Nikolai. I'll see you again."

"You p-promise?"

Irina smiled. "I promise."

She didn't _mean_ to break her promise.

Irina shopped for hours when she arrived, looking for the perfect stuffed monkey. When she found it, she knew it was perfect. She returned with the monkey clasped in her hand. She wasn't prepared for what she would hear.

All of her memories held precious tears in them. And so, Irina swore she would cry no more. Because now, tears simply stung too much. They held too many memories. As she left her son's grave, never to return to it, a single item remained there, and still does to this day.

A stuffed monkey.


	2. ATTENTION

_**OK. I am looking for a permanent beta. As in, for all my stories. Because I am really sick of looking through my stories and seeing mistakes that I missed. So, if you want to try out for the job, tell me your qualifications in a PM or a review, and on a scale of 1 to 10 how badly you want to beta. Also, send me a piece of your best work.**_

_**Thanks! =)**_

_**~Luver . of . Pie**_


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